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The ABC’s of Skiing and Things I’d Never Thought I’d Say

When you become a parent you start to measure your life in two ways, BC and AC; before children, and after children. When I would ski BC, it was up early, on the slopes early, ski hard and fast, maybe have lunch, definitely apres, sometimes into the evening. In the present AC, its up early, on the slopes late, ski moderately, definitely have lunch, definitely apres, home early in the evening.

I like skiing in the AC because the fun and thrills that I found skiing BC are replaced with different ones AC. I see terrain in a different way, I spend more time in the trees on fun whoopie-doo trails, and I hear myself say things I never thought I would. For example, on a recent family ski outing I caught the following sentences coming out of my mouth. Most of these were delivered at top volume.

Take your skis off in the parking lot!

Dont hit the cars with your poles!

Dont eat your neck gator!

Its not smelly skiing, its teleskiing.

Stop trying to copy that ski ballet person.

I dont know how many snowcats they have here.

Why didnt you tell me you had to go to the bathroom, we were just in the lodge?

Why are you putting snow on top of your head?

Sure, I can ski fancy.

I dont know what that smell is.

Dont walk around the parking lot in your socks!

Yes three runs is enough for an apres treat.